The Unspoken Struggle: The Endless Pain of Seeking Approval

Many of us spend our lives in the pursuit of approval from others. We strive to meet societal standards, to fit into certain molds, and to gain acceptance from those around us. However, this constant quest for approval can often lead to a cycle of endless pain and dissatisfaction. This struggle, though often unspoken, is a common experience for many. It’s a journey that can be emotionally draining and mentally exhausting, leaving one feeling unfulfilled and constantly seeking validation.

The Pursuit of Approval: A Double-Edged Sword

The desire for approval is a fundamental human instinct. We are social creatures, and our survival and success often depend on our ability to fit into our social groups. However, when this desire becomes an obsession, it can lead to a cycle of endless pain and dissatisfaction. We may find ourselves constantly trying to meet others’ expectations, sacrificing our own needs and desires in the process.

The Impact of Seeking Approval

Constantly seeking approval can have a significant impact on our mental health. It can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and even depression. We may start to believe that our worth is determined by others’ opinions of us, leading to a constant fear of rejection and a sense of never being good enough.

Breaking the Cycle

Breaking free from the cycle of seeking approval can be a challenging but rewarding journey. It involves recognizing and acknowledging our own worth, independent of others’ opinions. It also involves setting boundaries and learning to say no when necessary. Here are some steps you can take to start this journey:

  • Recognize your worth: Understand that your value is not determined by others’ opinions of you. You are worthy simply because you exist.

  • Set boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary. You do not have to please everyone all the time.

  • Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s okay to not be perfect.

  • Seek professional help: If you’re struggling with feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem, consider seeking help from a mental health professional.


The endless pain of seeking approval is a struggle that many of us face. However, it’s important to remember that our worth is not determined by others’ opinions of us. By recognizing our own worth, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion, we can break free from this cycle and live a more fulfilling life.